Dancing With The Stars - October 6

Hey, y'all. Back, by popular demand, it's my witty commentary on Dancing With The Stars!

I believe it may be random.

Observation Number One: Julianne Hough's wig is whack.

Observation Numero Two-O: So are Toni Braxton and Cloris Leachman's!

Now let's get down to the dancing.

Susan Lucci and Tony Dovolani - LOVE me some Tony Dovolani! But Erica seems very tentative tonight, doesn't she? Maybe she's intimidated by the jive?

SCORE: 21

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer - I gotta tell y'all, I'm not a big Lacey fan. She was okay on So You Think You Can Dance, but she's way too mouthy on DWTS. They did do a much more traditional choreography this time, though, so that's good.

SCORE: 22

Maurice Green and Cheryl Burke - I started out apathetic about this couple, but NOW I'm a Maurice Green Fan! He's so engaging in this dance, and I can't stop watching his fancy cute little footwork!

SCORE: 24

Rocco and Karina - Bless his little geeky heart, it seems more like a circus dance than an elegant waltz. Might have something to do with the jangly house band, though. How dare they ruin one of my favorite Tom Jones songs?

SCORE: 20

Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson - Before they start, let me tell you that this guy was THE BOMB last week doing the Pasa Doble! How cute is this big ol' teddy bear of a football player? (I must say, though, that I think there's nothing more putrid than maroon and pink together. ICK) Loved their Viennese Waltz, though. Aw...do you think he might have a little crush on Kym?

SCORE: 25!

Cody and Julianne - He's such a kid, isn't he? And did I mention that her wig looks cheap? The dance looks GREAT though.

SCORE: 21

Toni Braxton and The Guy With Long Hair - This costume? Y'all, please. The dance, together with the music, are interesting. But how can the judges see what her legs or feet are doing with that big ol' curtain hiding her bottom half? Plus, my Tinkerbell thinks she spotted a lift.

SCORE: 22

Cloris and Corky: Oh, give me strength. How incredibly sad was that?

SCORE: 16

Brooke and Derek: Beautiful. And also sort of boring. And what the heck was that song?

SCORE: 28

So. My favorites tonight? Warren for sure, and maybe even Maurice. Rocco because I root for underdogs, and of course I do love me some Erica Kane.

Going home? Cloris Leachman. Please.

What did you think about tonight's show? Leave a comment and let me know!

Big Brother Observations

Hey, are y'all watching Big Brother? It's one of my guilty pleasures, and I've noticed something very unusual about this season.

Nobody's walking around half-nekkid.

If you watch Big Brother, you've surely aware of the fact that the women walk around the house in bikinis, even the last season that was filmed in winter.

It's always puzzled me why these people seem to wear their swimsuits 24/7. But this season? Not so much. I'm not complaining, mind you. The guys are probably hatin' it, but me? I'm cool.

Dancing With The Stars Contestants!

Hey, y'all! I feel like the Olympics lasted a dadgum year, and I am OH SO GLAD to have something to crow about.

The contestants for the next season of Dancing With The Stars have been announced, oh happy day!

I'm looking forward to Rocco DiSpirito, Maurice Green, Cody Linley, Misty May-Treanor, Ted McGinley and Warren Sapp. I'm warning ya, though, my picks are subject to change at a moment's notice.

Who will you be rooting for when Dancing With The Stars returns on September 22?

So You Think You Can Dance ~ July 23

I haven't blogged about SYTYCD in a few weeks, and I really hadn't intended to put anything out there tonight, but hey, I can't seem to keep my thoughts to myself lately, so here ya go.

First observation, WHAT IS UP with Mary Murphy tonight? She looks oh, so pretty, almost like she had some work done. Is it her teeth? Her hair? She had no time to have actual work done, but something looks spectacular.

And speaking of spectacular-looking judges, how about Toni Basil? She hasn't aged a bit; in fact, she looks so much better than she did in her Oh, Mickey days.

Katie and Twitch's contemporary routine was absolutely brilliant. P.S., I went straight to Amazon.com and downloaded that song, Mercy, by Duffy.

Will's James Brown routine was cute.

LOVED Comfort and Mark's Hip-Hop routine. Loved it. And also, did I mention that I loved it?

Yeah, not so much the Fox Trot. It didn't suck, though.

Joshua and his little blonde doing Disco was fun. Love that song, too!

I think my favorite guys are Joshua and Twitch...oh, wait what about Will? Okay, let's just send Mark home this week and sort it out later.

As far as the girls go, I'm only really crazy about Courtney. After her, my order is Chelsea, Katie, Comfort.

What did you think about tonight's show?

John & Kate Plus 8

Y'all.

Is this woman serious?

We've been watching John & Kate Plus 8 for a long time. I've always been bothered a little by the way that John and Kate speak to each other, but think that Kate is particularly hateful and demeaning to her husband sometimes.

I've seen interviews where Kate says something along the lines of, "there's no time to be polite," or, "if we don't say what we mean right away, we'll never have time to communicate."

Okay. I've never bought those excuses for belittling your spouse, but hey, if it works for them...right?

So today we're watching the "Embarrassing and Favorite Moments" episode. In the first 5 minutes of the show, here's what we see.

First there's a very old clip of John making an unkind remark to Kate. They discuss the clip, where John says he shouldn't have said it, he realizes it was rude and unkind, etc. Kate says she can't believe he said that, and explains why she was particularly grumpy that day. She educates John on the proper way to express one's dissatisfaction to one's spouse, and says that she's tried to train him for their entire marriage.

Next up is a clip where Kate shouts at John in the toy store. Her first comment is that John was playing like a child in the store instead of helping her. John attempts to explain what he was doing. Kate insists he was "playing like a child." She then goes on to say, "Well, I really wasn't that loud. It just sounded louder because I was wearing a mic."

So, in other words, Kate, you're saying that it was an embarrassing moment because John was misbehaving and when you corrected him it sounded louder than it really was because of the microphone? "I don't know what I would have done differently...but I just wish John...I wouldn't have yelled, obviously, but I wish John would be more sensitive and pay attention to the big picture of what's going on."

Now I know I can just change the channel. I know I can turn it off if it bugs me. But it's like a train wreck - I just can't stop watching. I'm fascinated at how deluded some people are about their shortcomings.

I'm not a perfect person, and you know what? I shout at my kids more than I should and I'm even catty with my husband occasionally. But I KNOW THAT IT'S WRONG and I try to improve. I don't try to justify my behavior by blaming it on someone else.

What makes me sad is that Kate Gosselin isn't the only wife (or husband or supervisor or etc.) who behaves this way. She's just the one who is so sure she's right that she'll go on national television and say so.

So You Think You Can Dance ~ June 25

Welcome to the show. It's late and I'm tired, so I can't guarantee that my comments will be concise or rational.

Could be more fun that way, huh?

Question Number One: Was Kat's nose always so crooked? Don't get me wrong - she's GORGEOUS. I just don't remember noticing her nose last season.

Now let's get on with the dancing.

Twitch and Kherington are up first with Hip Hop. I'm not gonna lie - I forgot to watch them. The judges liked 'em though.

Courtney and Gev - Rumba
I thought it was gorgeous, filled with emotion and I absolutely loved the music.

Tink: That was beautiful.
Big Daddy: I thought so.

Chris and Comfort - Yeah I don't really know what to say. Seriously. I don't know if it was good or not.

Jessica and Will - Disco
There were a couple of WOW moments, and the rest was completely boring. In my humble opinion. Big Daddy says they missed a turn and a lift.

Kourtni and Matt - Contemporary
Well, I liked it better than their previous performances.

Chelsea and Thayne - Quick Step
I'm sorry to be petty, but did she have on gold shoes with a gunmetal silver dress? Oh, no. And they should not have tried to give her an old-fashioned 'do. It just looks like a bad, raggedy wig. Oh, the dance? Meh.

The family liked it; the Mommy not so much.

Chelsie and Mark - Hip Hop
I'm not an expert on the Hippity Hop, but I thought it was good.

Katee and Joshua - Samba
I think it's the mark of an extremely good male dancer when he can make me watch him and ignore his partner. That's what I did here. Joshua reminded me of Emmitt Smith on Dancing With the Stars with his bit old thighs up there.

It's really hard this season, y'all. Everyone's pretty good at this point. Probably in trouble are Comfort and Chris, Jessica and Will & Chelsea and Thayne.

My favorites were Courtney and Gev.

Who were your favorites tonight, and who do you think should leave tomorrow? Let me know in the comments section!

Nashville Star - Pop Goes Country (June 23)

My mind is scattered tonight, so my comments probably will be, too. We'll get through it, though.

Item Number One: Like A Prayer? Spare me.

Soldier Boy is in the bottom two. Hey, I support the troops - let's get that out there straight up front. And I know he's got a military haircut. BUT. Don't y'all think he should put it in a little mohawk instead of those stringy bangs? Let me hear your thoughts on the matter.

Gabe's singing Livin' La Vida Loca tonight. Yeah, he tore it up. He's gotta win this thing, y'all.

Pearl Heart singing Love Shack? Oh, I don't know about this. Okay, so vocally I liked them better than in past weeks, but it's even better when I'm not watching the kid.

Alyson Gilbert - I Think We're Alone Now
Pitchy start. And you know what? I thought she sounded much better in the taped piece than she did in the live performance. She said she didn't want it to be boring, but IT WAS.

Ashley Hewitt is singing Britney Spears. It was just weird for me. Oh, hold on...about half-way through it got more interesting.

Coffey's up next, and he's singing Umbrella by Rihanna. And I didn't like it. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Laura and Sophie singing Michael Jackson? Oh my, no. Let's see what happens, shall we? It was much better than I expected! As far as I can tell they didn't pick the song, so I think they did the best they could with the song and arrangement.

Shawn Mayer is up next with Bye Bye Bye. Risky, yes, but let me tell you this. SHE KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK. In other words, people, I LIKED IT.

Yay, Melissa Lawson is NOT in the Bottom Two! And she's singing True Colors. Y'all know I love my Arlington girl, but I did not like the beginning of this song. She pulled it out, though, and (cornball alert) her true colors shone through in the end.

Justin Gaston - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Hey, it didn't suck. It's amazing how much difference the arrangement can make in a song.

Finally we have Tommy Stanley singing Maniac. And yeah, it's not country AT ALL. So hopefully he's out of here tonight.

BUT he's not. Wah. Justin's gone this week.

My least favorites were Alyson, Tommy and Coffey, and I really loved Shawn and Gabe.

What do you think about tonight's elimination and who do you think should go home next week?

So You Think You Can Dance ~ June 18

It's another week at So You Think You Can Dance. Mia Michaels' hair is platinum and Mary Murphy is bustin' out of that leopard-print dress, not to mention over-accesorized!

Chelsea and Thayne - Jazz
I love the dance, and I think they're both incredible, but her big old honkin' shoes are throwing me off a bit. Let me tell ya this, though - I was enthralled. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. Also, Thayne totally rocked the guy-liner.

Oh my, Mia didn't like it at all. Didn't work for Mary or Nigel either, dang it!

Mark and Chelsie - Argentine Tango
Seemed like she was watching her feet a lot. is that the way it's supposed to be? Other than that, I didn't notice much. It was a nice dance, but nothing special.

And what's odd is that the judges loved it.

Jessica and Will - Hip-Hop
It was cute. I don't know jack crap about Hip-Hop, so I can't say much more than that. Big Daddy says, "It's not strong enough," whatever that means. I will say one more thing - the dance seemed awfully LONG.

Mia Michaels said she didn't even know Jessica was there, but thinks Will was genius. Mary agrees with her, but I don't. I thought Jessica was cute, but I guess Hip-Hop shouldn't be cute. Nigel thinks that Jessica did a really good job, too.

You know what, Mia is so black and white with everything, and I think it has more to do with her personal preferences than objective critiques. But that's just me.

Kourtni and Matt - Fox Trot
Hmm. I enjoyed watching him, but her...not so much. He just showed so much more personality and spark than she did.

Courtney and Gev - Contemporary
Wow. I think they may have fumbled a few holds, but I thought it was beautiful.

Two out of the three judges liked it, too.

Katee and Joshua - Broadway
Cute. Very fun. Hey, have you noticed that all these barefoot girls have really dirty feet? Yuck.

Wow, Nigel totally lost his mind over this number. And Mary's a hot emotional mess.

Susie and Marquis - Salsa
Yeah, it was okay. Pretty but rough. And what was that black stuff in her hair?

Judges didn't really like it.

Kherington and Twitch - Viennese Waltz
GORgeous. Touching. Beautiful.

Hey, is Mia a little bitchy tonight? She definitely has her favorites, and Kherington isn't one of them.

Comfort and Chris - Krumping
It was a'ight. Chris probably isn't hitting hard enough, but I like these guys so I hope they can make it through to next week.

Oh my, but Nigel hated it!

Okay, so my bottom three tonight?

Kourtni and Matt, although really just Kourtni. I completely enjoyed Matt.
Susie and Marquis.

Well, it appears I just have a bottom two. What about you? Who do you think should go home tomorrow night?

Nashville Star - June 16

Laura and Sophie are up first tonight, and as much as I like these girls, tonight's performance is not EVEN as good as last week. I think whichever one of them was singing the alto part got shortchanged. Their tie-dye shirts are cute, though. John Rich likes 'em, Jewel's not as enthusiastic, and Shaggy Blonde Judge was the most harsh. Jeffrey Steele, that's his name.

Ashlee Hewitt - Ring of Fire
It was a'ight. I like Ashlee and I hope she sticks around, but I wasn't all that impressed. The judges loved her thought, so YAY.

Justin Gaston
Well. Hmmm. He's cute.

Y'all, I just don't think the talent here is anywhere as good as on American Idol. Are these seriously the best people who auditioned for this show? A lot of the performances seem very High School Talent Show to me.

Alyson Gilbert
Now THIS is a good voice, and she made the song hers.

Hey, I like Billy Ray Cyrus, but he's not a great host. I'm just sayin'.

Pearl Heart
Poor little Lead Singer Girl just seems so awkward. Their performance is okay, but hopefully she'll get more comfortable as time goes on.

Tommy Stanley - Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy
Yeah, I agree with Jewel - he's pretty ballsy to sing this song in front of John Rich. BUT, he worked it out, and it was GREAT!

Gabe Garcia
Holy Smokes, people, Gabe's the one to beat. Well, maybe him and Melisa Lawson. WOW.

Shawn Mayer - He Stopped Loving Her Today
She's out here to show John Rich she's not a bar singer. Did she do it? I don't know; I think she depends too much on her runs and affectations. She's got a VERY good voice, but I don't think she's learned what to do with it yet.

Coffey - Waiting on the World to Change
His voice is much more suited to this song than whatever it was that he sang last week. Judges didn't feel it though.

And p.s., why did they suddenly start pronouncing his name "COFF-AY?"

Melissa Lawson is in the bottom 2, and I'm sad about this. Talent-wise, I think she's in the Top 2. But do you think people didn't vote for her cause she's a Big Girl? Her performance tonight was - That's Right -Top 2.

Please oh please oh please oh please.

Third Town is up last, and they're singing Mountain Music. Crazy Hair Boy sort of sounds like a Chipmunk, doesn't he? They're good, though, I have to admit.

But I still want 'em to go home, cause that means that Melissa gets to stay.

Right? I hope I understand the elimination process. We'll see in a minute.

The finalist receiving the least amount of America's votes is...Third Town.

Oh, thank goodness. Whew! Well I'd better get over to NBC.com and do some voting, huh?

Hey, who did you like tonight? Be sure and leave a comment to let me know what you thought.

I got hate mail!

Hey, you do not wanna miss the first comment on my Nashville Star post, cause it's oh so fun! I think the teens or tweens must be reading my blog, y'all!

I have officially hit the Big Time!

I'm disheartened by the fact that Candy thinks that Gabe would never fall for me, but it's just as well, you know, since I'm married and all.

I'm Watching Nashville Star!

Hey, y'all. In the magnificent smorgasbord of summer television, I'm picking up some shows I haven't watched in the past. Tonight it's Nashville Star. I've seen an episode here and there in the past, but since the show's on NBC this season it caught my eye and we're giving it a whirl.

First let's talk about Taylor Swift. Are they serious with her? Cause y'all, she's gorgeous but she can't sing. We saw her on Regis a few weeks ago, and our opinion today is the same: She mainly yells, but when she actually sings, it's horrible. And John Rich says she's the biggest thing in country right now? I just don't get it.

Tink: Do we have to listen to this? Finally, she's done.

Okay, on to the contestants.

Pearl Heart

I'm not impressed with the lead singer but the background harmonies are very pretty. I guess the bar's pretty low, cause the judges seemed to like 'em.

Tommy Stanley

Yeah, not impressed with him either. Sorry. Nowhere close to sounding professional. But he's got beautiful eyes.

Shawn Mayer

She's a mechanic, works on a hog farm, and she's a volunteer fireman. A real renaissance woman!

I'm bored and John Rich doesn't look happy at all.

Third Town

Don't y'all think it's weird that TWO GUYS spell their name Toni with an I? And they're singing Elvira. They seemed like they were singing in more than one key. And not on purpose. But the voices were good. Other than the whole key thing, that is.

Coffey

EW. I really wanted to like this guy cause he's from Texas, and he's got the whole single dad angle, but ugh.

Do y'all think that most contestants on American Idol are more professional and polished, overall?

Laura and Sophie

Wow, I can't believe these girls aren't sisters! Oh, and p.s. - they're my favorites so far. Yeah, they need some polish. But they've brought the most WOW in their voices and harmonies.

Gabe Garcia

He's from Lytle, Texas, so there's a point in my book already! Oh, and then he sings George Strait? And DOES IT GREAT! I heart his voice and he may be my Nashville Star boyfriend. Stay tuned.

Allison Gilbert

She didn't suck. In fact, in places her voice was pretty great. Good energy, too. Gratuitous run at the end, though. I agreed with John Rich that the beginning was rough.

Ashlee Hewitt

I think Ashlee has a beautiful voice. I really enjoyed her performance tonight, and can't wait to see what else she has to bring this season.

Charley Jenkins

Well, before Charley sings I'm afraid I may have another NS boyfriend. I hope Gabe doesn't get jealous. Hmmm...His voice sounds forced. I think he's got a good tone, but he needs some coaching or something. Pitchy maybe?

Well, I think the judges said what I couldn't figure out: Good guy, good voice, bad performance. The "performer" part of it was forced and unbelievable. So maybe he can fix this if he makes it through.

Justin Gaston

Pitchy. Or something. But there's potential here.

Melissa Lawson

Wife and Mother of 5! And she's another Texan! Please be good please be good please be good.

And she IS GOOD! It was the best performance all night, in my opinion. But she either needs a stronger undergarment or a longer shirt. I'm just sayin'.

So someone is going home tonight, I guess. And who's it gonna be? Bottom two are Charley and Allison, which I vehemently disagree with. Vehemently, I say. I've got it paused, cause I'm gonna tell you who my bottom two are. Let me look at my notes.

Okay, so my bottom two are Tommy, Shawn and Coffey. Yeah, I know that's three, cause I didn't like any of 'em. But the judges did, so let's see who's going home.

Charley. Crap.

Who did you like tonight, or who stunk it up? Leave a comment and tell me about it.

Was Kathie Lee Always Crazy?

Y'all, I think Kathie Lee Gifford is out of control.

I rarely watched Regis and Kathie Lee back in the day, because I worked for a living. So maybe she was crazy then and I didn't know it.

These days, I watch Regis and Kelly most mornings, because it comes on after our local Fox News, and oh yeah - because I like it! Kelly's funny and cute, Regis is funny and cranky, and it's just something nice to have on in the background.

So back to KL - Last week or the week before, when Heather Armstrong was on The Today Show, I watched the clip online. And Kathie Lee was a whack job. This subject has been addressed and re-addressed by half the Mom Bloggers in the universe, so I'll make just one point. The woman who talked about her kids every day, for humpteen years, on national television has a problem with bloggers talking about their kids on their blogs.

Huh?

BUT THEN, y'all, this morning I turned on The Today Show. No reason. And Kathie Lee, she is all over the place. Her guest couldn't finish a sentence without KL interrupting with some sarcastic or corny or just inappropriate comment. Seriously, it was ridiculous.

She's condescending, she's a name-dropper, and she's rude and disrespectful to her guests. I really believe she thinks this is comedy or humor or whatever. But it's not funny.

And I have no idea why NBC thinks this is good for business.

TV Cancelations

I have found this season's bad news, y'all. Some of my favorite shows have been canceled, along with some of my second string, too. Here's a link to the list I found, and right here are the ones I actually care about.

Las Vegas - NBC, I'm really ticked about this one - didn't even see it coming.
Women's Murder Club - ABC
Here Come The Newlyweds - ABC
Jericho - CBS
Kid Nation - CBS
K-Ville - FOX
Beauty and the Geek - CW

Just Wah.

American Idol - The End

Yeah, so listen Dawg. I wasn't gonna post about the Finale of American Idol, because I just don't care.

I didn't even watch last night's performances.

But I turned on the show and my brain started rattling, so I'm gonna throw out some random observations about tonight's show.

First. How uncomfortable must those Davids have been to stand there in those white clothes staring at each other while Ryan Seacrest rambled on?

The camera work during the opening number drove me crazy. The Top 12 from both AI and So You Think You Can Dance? On the same stage? And with all that zooming and zigging and zagging, I never saw a thing. All that fancy camera work can kiss my butt. I just wanted to see the performers.

How uncomfortable did Amanda look performing the Donna Summer Mini Medley? It's hilarious. She was rocking her Power Scarf, though.

I'm concerned about the situation going on at the top of Paula's dress. The support structure appears to be insufficient. Please be on alert.

I was very surprised at how uncomfortable Jimmy Kimmel seemed - and how retarded he looked in that suit.

Fast Forward to Jordin Sparks - Nice song, hideous dress. HIDEOUS.

OH. MY. GOODNESS. Y'all. The Pips? Stiller, Black and Downey, Jr.?The highlight of my week. Seriously. I don't even know what to say. On my way to ITunes to download it. Had to pause the DVR to laugh, after taking a break to use the restroom so I wouldn't pee my pants. Did I mention it was hilarious?

Carrie Underwood? Super Star. SOO PER STAR. Wow.

And David Cook wins, and my DVR cuts off before his reaction. Congrats, David.

What did y'all think about this season, and the finale?

Hey, tomorrow night is So You Think You Can Dance!

Hey, I can not think of a good ending for this post!

The End.

Dancing With The Stars - The Grand Finale!

LIVE, from Hollywood, this is the Finale of Dancing With The Stars!

You know what? I didn't think I'd last through this season of DWTS, but now I'm actually sad it's over.

Wah.

You know what else? I fast forwarded past Usher. Not interested.

Now we're learning who's in Third Place. EEK. It's my pretend boyfriend, Cristian. Double Wah.

Tink: Cristian was a good man. I can't believe they did that. Oh well, they don't need a trophy. Just like with Lightning McQueen, it's just an empty cup.

Their final dance was great. And Cheryl's costume was Beach Blanket Dominatrix. I crack myself up.

Poor Penn Jilette is still a big old oaf, but I wonder if he wouldn't look so awkward if he had worn better fitting clothes? Maybe not; what do I know?

I love Steve Guttenberg - and I think his dancing has improved, too.

My favorite segment so far? The Bro-mance clip of Cristian and Jason. TOOO fun.

***

I have a confession for y'all. It's now Wednesday Noon. I just ran out of things to say about the Grand Finale last night. But just in case you were dying to know what I thought, here are the highlights:

Usher bores me. And PS, he's also a bad lip synch'er.

All the PDA between the dancers sort of weirds me out, especially when so many of the stars are married folk.

Tom Bergeron is rarely funny.

Samantha Harris does little more than look good.

I saw such a transformation in Kristy Yamaguchi this season. She was always a good dancer, but she seemed to put so much more of her heart into it towards the end, and her personality became very relaxed and fun.

Why was Jason Taylor NFL's Man of the Year? I'm just wondering because the Dolphins didn't do very well, did they? I'm not saying he didn't deserve it; I just wonder what he DID to deserve it.

I also wonder why Edyta dresses like a sleaze. Seriously, I wonder about this.

I'm ready for Cheryl to get her hair off her cheek.

Still love Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony Dovolani. They're the bomb.

Cristian is in a pilot that airs on USA, June 1. My DVR is set.

That's all, folks. I think Kristy deserved to win, but I wonder if anyone ever really had a chance with her skating background.

What's next? Maybe So You Think You Can Dance, although I don't know if I'll post about it every week. We'll see.

Dancing With The Stars - FINALE!

Wow, DWTS and American Idol both have their Finale this week!

I'm excited about Dancing With The Stars, but American Idol? I'm just ready for it to be over.

Hey, did y'all know that I have a thing for Cristian? And also Mark Ballas? Yeah, still do. Be advised.

I love watching the tape from rehearsals, because these guys are all so funny. Kristi even cracks a smile every once in a while!

So here comes the Cha Cha Face-Off. I'm so excitick (as my girls say)! And my boy Cristian is up first.

Does it seem like a double standard that I think Edyta dresses like a sleaze, but I love it when Cristian and Mark have their shirts hanging open? No? Good.

Rock that open purple shirt, Cristian! I thought their portion of the Cha Cha was great, although Cheryl seemed a little frantic in the beginning. She's not the one who's gonna win though, is she?

Now it's Jason and Edyta - doesn't really seem like a Cha Cha to me, but then what do I know? I know this - isn't the Cha Cha a Latin dance? Then I think the music should be Latin. OOH, but what a cute little flippity flip towards the end!

And once again, I can not watch Kristi when Mark is dancing Latin. Ha Cha Cha Cha Cha! Oh, but guess what, y'all? I'm watching Kristi, cause this swingy little Beach Blanket Bingo dress is as cute as it can be, and I promise you this - She looks more happy and more relaxed than she has all season long. And even though I want my Cristian to win, I LOVE Kristi in this dance!!

Loved the finale of this dance, especially the lift, but with the three of them side by side, I think Jason was the worst.

Oh, hold on - There are Scores!

Cristian - 26

Jason - 24 (There is no way that Jason was as good as Cristian, but Carrie Ann scored them both an 8. Biased much, Carrie Ann?)

Kristi - 30. I agree!

OOH, the Freestyle Round, and Kristi and Mark are up first. Oh. My Goodness. I think I may be a Kristi convert tonight! This routine is oh, so cute - a bit sloppy in places, but overall I loved it!

Scooter: Can you type my name in and say I said, "I like them," Okay?

SCORE: 30

Jason and Edyta's Freestyle is next, and he's got a big ol' beach ball. Edyta's wearing clothes, but of course they took 'em off ASAP. Hmmm...I don't know what to say. He had some good moves, and the lifts were absolutely great. Other than that...meh.

SCORE: 27 - Big Daddy thinks it's too low; I think it's too high.

Final Freestyle is Cristian and Cheryl. Still lovin' him. Their lifts and spins are MORE than phenomenal. I love that he's singing the song while he's dancing, and I'd just like to point out that that he's doing all this with one good arm.

Listen up, y'all. I can admit it when my favorites stink it up (Jason Castro/American Idol), but people, I think this performance was out of this world. I don't care if Jason Taylor did better lifts; Cristian and Cheryl had a better overall performance.

I like crusty old Len, but he's pissed me off now by simply comparing lifts instead of the entire performance. Jason Taylor did nothing great tonight but pick people up. Big Whoop.

Dang, I'm mad. Okay, Bruno? Yeah, Bruno doesn't want to get on my bad side; he's giving a better critique. Carrie Ann? Yeah, I don't know what she said. She's Paula tonight.

And my dadgum DVR cut off the scores, so I'm off to find out what happened next.

But let me tell ya this first - I'm okay with Kristi winning - although I still think she had an advantage over the others from the beginning. But if there's a second place, and Cristian's not in it, I'm gonna call someone a bad name.

Don't worry - it probably won't be you.

American Idol Final 3 - May 13

THIS is American Idol. And I couldn't be less interested.

Y'all, I have watched every season since Season Two. And I have loved me some contestants and hated me some contestants. But this season? I've had my favorites, but I knew they wouldn't be Pop Music Icons, so I never expected them to make it through to the end. And they didn't. Actually, some of the first contestants eliminated were my favorites.

Like the stripper. See, I can't even remember the poor dude's name.

Carly had an incredible voice, but she dressed weird and screamed and grimaced too much. And come on, would you go on American Idol with a half-finished tattoo? I didn't buy that whole, "I haven't had time to finish it." Seriously. Do one square inch a week, and she could have had it finished between Hollywood and the regular season.

Moving on.

Brooke is a unique, quirky talent, but I'm not sure she could handle fame.

Jason - also unique, quirky, talented. But ditzy beyond belief.

So before we get to the performances tonight, I'll put it out there - I'm rooting for Syesha.

ROUND ONE

Oh my goodness, the mayor of Wherever, Utah has a handlebar mustache. And singing And So It Goes, here's Mr. David Archuleta.

Sounds like a lovely soloist from the Wherever Boys Choir.

Syesha is singing an Alisha Keys song. Pretty. And boring.

David Cook is singing The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. This should be interesting. Love the song and so far, love him singing it.

I'm surprised. Not at him; at me. I LOVED IT. No longer bored.

But why did they keep spotlighting that 50s lady with the long blonde bob standing up in the audience?

It's a mystery. Oh wait, she's the Stage Manager? How weird that they would keep shooting her.

ROUND TWO

Archuleta is singing With You by Chris Brown.

Horrible. Just horrible. Embarrassingly horrible.

Syesha - Fever. She's looking forward to singing with a chair? I'm a little afraid. And confused.

The performance is good, although for some reason it reminded me of a scene in Imitation of Life where Sarah Jane is performing a revolving, rocking something. You know?

Maybe not.

Oh, and the judges didn't like it.

David Cook - Something by Switchfoot. I know this song, but don't like it. And I like his version even less. He seems off to me, especially in the beginning...no, all the way through. And wow, that was short.

Yep, Randy said it was pitchy. And Paula made another suggestive comment.

ROUND THREE - Who chose these songs? I wasn't paying attention. Oh, the producers.

Archuleta - I don't even know the actual name of this song. Will you be shocked if I tell you I was bored?

I'm tellin' y'all, this may be my last post about American Idol this season. I'm just not feelin' it these days!

Syesha - Hit Me Up
I liked it. But Sandy from Grease called, and she wants her pants back.

David Cook - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
I really like this song, but what a strange arrangement for The Rocker Dude. Strings? And then when he decided to really get down and dirty, it seemed to be pitchy.

Randy? What say you? "It was okay for me. Very predictable. Very predictable."
Paula and Simon absolutely loved it, though.
Big shocker.

Well, I don't care who goes home tomorrow.

Wait, maybe I do. Maybe I'd just like for Cook to go home just to shake people up a bit. Really, I'd just love for Syesha to stay, but I don't see that happening.

Tell me, friends - what did you think of tonight's performances?

Dancing With The Stars - May 13 Results

It's time to find out who stays and who goes on to the finals. I think they're all great, so I'll be a bit disappointed no matter who goes home tonight.

Lots of boring filler...

Oh boy, they've brought back the little Juniors! Love. Them! The little green couple are just adorable, and so precise!

I love the bro-mance going on between Cristian and Jason. But my boy Cristian needs to go ahead and take Jason out.

More Juniors! The little pink kiddos are great, but not as good as they were last time. I think the greens were better tonight.

Wait, we're not done with the Juniors - here are some bigger ones dancing the Pasa Doble. Is it tacky that I'm not paying attention to their names?

Is that why everyone stopped commenting? Because I'm tacky?

Anyway.

Juniors in Black are In.Credible. Ridiculously, freakishly, unbelievably incredible.

And with 10 minutes left in the show, we're finally getting to THE RESULTS, people.

Kristy and Mark are safe.

Commercial Break.

Jason and Edyta are safe, too.

That leaves Marissa or Cristian to leave tonight. My two faves. Wah. And it's Marissa and Tony going home tonight. But y'all! She got to the Final Four with her little stubby self! I'm oh, so proud of my little chunky girl.

And I hate to review and run, but I'm off to watch American Idol now.

But Marissa and Tony rocked, didn't they?

Dancing With The Stars - May 12

They're down to the Final Four on DWTS, and I like every one of them! I'll admit, it's hard for me to base my opinion solely on "talent." Everything's personal with me. So, having said that, here are MY Top 4, in order.

Cristian DeLaFuente
Marissa Jaret Winokur
Jason Taylor
Kristy Yamaguchi

I really like all four, but I've believed from the beginning that Kristy's skating background gave her such an advantage, and I hate to see her walk away with the win. I'm glad to see the guys giving her a run for her money these past few weeks!

I'm predicting even before I see the show that Marissa will go home this week. And possibly Cristian next week. But who knows? The American public is oh, so fickle, aren't we?

Shall we get on with the show, then?

First up are Jason and Edyta, and it would appear that Edyta is wearing almost an entire dress. Will wonders never cease?

I thought their Fox Trot was beautiful, and I SO enjoy watching Jason glide around that dance floor!

SCORE: 28

Jason's second dance tonight is the Pasa Doble. As usual, I really enjoyed it.

Yeah, it looks like Edyta realized she had on some clothes and decided to get naked on top again. And her girls almost jumped right of what little top she's wearing.

And both my 7- and 8-year-old saw that lift, people. But apparently the judges didn't.

Tink: Carrie Ann Inaba always sees the lifts, and she didn't say a word about it this time! Maybe she just doesn't want to make them feel bad.

SCORE: 27
TOTAL: 55

Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony Dovolani
WOW, sweet Tony's teeth are blinding me tonight! He's reminding me of that episode of Friends where Ross' teeth glowed in the dark.

Or is it just my TV?

Also, you know I'm a Marissa fan but I just don't believe that they can't find more flattering dresses for her! My girl is thick, y'all, and looks like a sausage in this type of dress. A sausage with feathers on the bottom.

Anyway, the dance. Pretty, and very quick. But I think she may have missed a few steps. Bruno noticed, darn it!

SCORE: 26 Bruno was trippin', y'all, over the trip-up. Whatever, Bruno.

Marissa's second dance is a Rumba tonight. I was a little bit bored. Oh, and Carrie Ann hated it, and got MAD at the other two judges for giving a good review. Wow.

SCORE: 26
TOTAL: 52

Cristian DeLaFuente and Cheryl Burke
Hey, I could watch Cristian in rehearsal for weeks. Rumpled is definitely a good look for him.

I don't mean to be cruel, but Cheryl's dress is gagging me, y'all. It's somehow reminding me of aluminum soda cans, especially at the top. Or maybe an art school project. Oh, and also I don't like this song. At all.

But Vote! For Cristian! That's my boy!

SCORE: 27

Cristian's doing the Samba next. Thanks, C, for leaving that shirt unbuttoned. And for the great hip action. I love it! The footwork was great, and did I mention the hips? Oh, okay.

SCORE: 29
TOTAL: 56

Kristy Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas
WOW, is this Tango fast! It seems a little bit frantic to me. The footwork is very intricate at times, which is impressive. But overall, I'm not crazy about the performance.

Bruno and Carrie Ann loved it, though.

SCORE: 29

The final dance tonight is the Jive, and I'm looking forward to watching Mark...oh, and Kristy too.

Hate the music.

The dance was cute but I didn't think it was spectacular.

SCORE: 28
TOTAL: 57

I loved watching Len giving instruction to all the contestants in the taped piece tonight. In fact I think I'd REALLY love to see Len dance some time!

I still think it will probably be Marissa going home this week, but you never know. I think my favorite was really Cristian, especially the 2nd number.

What did you think?

Dancing With The Stars 100th Show

Okay, peeps, I wasn't gonna write a post about tonight's results show.

Cause I'm balancing my checkbook.

But Y'ALL. Julianne and Apolo's dance with Rascal Flatts? Homey Gomey. That was the most beautiful thing! And her dress? Hubba hubba!

Okay, back to the checkbook.

And the results...Mario was eliminated tonight. And even though at this point it's sad for anyone to leave, I agree with the results.

What did you think?

American Idol Final 4 - May 6

THIS is American Idol.

Final Four, people. And can I tell you something? I don't like either of the Davids, and even though I like Jason, I don't think he should be the winner. That leaves Syesha, and she's been good but inconsistent.

I think for me, Carly was my pick to win it. OOPS.

Oh well, let's get on with it, shall we? It's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame tonight. Is that the theme or are they just talking about it? I don't know.

David Cook
Hungry Like The Wolf
It's a little fast for me, but I like it. His voice is very well suited for this song, but do I think that because he sounds just like the original artist? I don't know.

Paula's not making sense tonight - shocker, huh?

Syesha Mercado
Proud Mary
Uh oh, this had better be good! Okay so far so good, although I think her dancing is a bit sleazy. I'd like someone do a different arrangement of this song though; everyone does it exactly the same. So I guess in that sense it was a bit boring.

Simon agreed to me, sort of, although he said it really mean.

Jason Castro
I Shot The Sheriff
You know what? Jason with his lackadaisical attitude is sort of getting on my nerves these day. He's been a favorite of mine all along, but I'm starting to think he's just so unprofessional, even to the point of disrespect.

What a cliche - "I have dreads, so I like reggae."

Yeah, I'm a little harsh tonight, huh?

I thought the performance was okay, but the judges pretty much hated it.

David Archuleta
Stand By Me
Y'all, Little David is giving me the creeps. His eyes are dim and he seems drugged. The voice is good, YES. He's like a young zombie with a great voice.

P.S. Here's an article I read about Jason's lovely Stage Father.

P.P.S. The judges loved him - what a shocker.

David Cook Again
Some song by The Who
I don't know; mostly I was bored. Then towards the end his voice was gorgeous. And that's all I have to say about that.

I really think Paula's hot for this guy, and her comments are getting more suggestive every time.
Syesha
I don't even know what she sang, but I loved it. And I loved how much the song affected her.

Way to go, Randy, rain on her parade.

Jason
Mr. Tambourine Man
I may be over Jason. Is there some arrogance coming through in this kid, or am I just cranky tonight? Oh...I just checked out VoteForTheWorst and they're promoting him now. Figures.

Little David
Love Me Tender
He thinks it will be a "fun song to sing, a cool song to sing." Look kid, you better not be messin' with Elvis.

He really does have a talent. I just think someone needs to send his dad to Uzbekistan so we can see if David has a personality to go with the voice.

I think parts of the song were inspired and other parts were boring.

So what have we got here?

I loved Syesha. That's about it. I think that without a doubt, Jason Castro should go home this week. But I'm askeered that Syesha might, if the crazy people get their way.

Now I'm off to watch Dancing With The Stars results. Later, y'all.

Dancing With The Stars - May 5

LIVE, From Hollywood, THIS IS Dancing With The Stars.

And it's my Tinkerbell's 7th birthday, people. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Kristi and Mark
Quick Step
Meh, I don't think it's all that great. And I don't like her hair. Len liked the dance, though, as did Bruno, but Carrie Ann thought they got out of synch for a bit.

SCORE: 29

Samba
Oh, have I mentioned that I like to watch Mark Ballas dance? Especially the Latin dances. Oh, and p.s., Kristi's great this time, too. Love. It. Except it got awkward at the end.

SCORE: 26 - It's ironic that when I like their performances, the judges don't. Sorry, Kristi.
TOTAL: 55

Mario and Karina
Viennese Waltz
I thought it was beautiful! All the judges did, too. And tonight, for the first time, Mario is reminding me of Chris Rock.

SCORE: 27

The Jive
The Jive is Latin? Did Not know that. I love the colors in their costumes. Heck, I love the whole thing! I'm not a very big Karina fan, but the combination of her choreography and his movement is just great. Bruno disagrees with me, of course.

A dance expert, I Am Not. I just know what I like.

SCORE:26
TOTAL:53

Marissa and Tony
Fox Trot
Have I mentioned how much I love Tony Dovolani and his startlingly white teeth? Yeah, I do. I love Marissa too. So anyway, the dance. Oh, and I think her dress is oh, so unflattering. The lift was so cute, and I think they did great.

SCORE: 25
Mambo

Aw, look how cute her little legs are when they're moving fast! But I think she may have missed a step or a move or something in the beginning. That big ol' hair of hers looks great flying all over the place, too. And the spin at the end was great! And this dress was MUCH more flattering!

SCORE:25
TOTAL:50

Jason and Edyta
Tango
Dang, y'all. This is dynamite. But I counted 3 lifts. Can Edyta just do whatever she wants to or what?

SCORE: 29

Samba
Man, this girl hates to wear clothes, doesn't she? Oh look, I love it when Jason moves his hips. But didn't that lift just look like showing off?

SCORE: 23 (Lowest score tonight?)
TOTAL: 52

Cristian and Cheryl
Tango
My poor baby with his little ruptured tendon is up now. And he's apparently dancing with a black and white dodo bird. In a white dress. With black underwear. To Beat It.

Whatever.

Dang, y'all, that lift was incredible! But seriously, those feathers are cracking me up.

SCORE: 28

Mambo
Aw, look at Cristian's cute glitter arm cover. Wow, I love his footwork and his hips. Oh goodness, my boy is finally showing his Latin roots in this dance! And oh my goodness at the lift!

SCORE: 29!
TOTAL: 57

So, a recap? In order, for me, Cristian, Marissa, Mario, Kristi, Jason. But who knows what will actually happen.

Did you vote tonight? Who do you think will go home tomorrow? We'll see tomorrow night!

American Idol - April 29

THIS is American Idol.

And PAULA looks like a prom queen at the end of a rough night.

It's Neil Diamond night, y'all, and I've gotta tell ya that I've never been a very big fan. I'm more of a Manilow girl.

Ah, he's releasing a new album next week, which is why he's being featured on tonight's show, I guess. And p.s., he's old, huh?

Up first is Jason Castro, singing Forever in Blue Jeans. I may have mentioned that I really like me some Jason, but tonight I'm not into this performance.

David Cook - I'm Alive
I'm not feelin' it.

I hope I don't have a case of the crankies tonight. It's late, though, so I can't make any promises.

Brooke White - I'm a Believer
Did you know Neil Diamond wrote this song? Didn't the Monkees record it? Yes, I'm old. Anyway, my sweet Brooke is stinking it up. In my opinion. There were some really great spots, though, but mostly...it stunk.

And there are the pinched lips.

David Archuleta - Sweet Caroline
Sort of like Brooke, there were great moments but weird ones, too. In his case, more great than weird, though. He actually looked enthusiastic for the first time in several weeks!

Syesha Mercado - Hello Again
Not a fan of the hair. Her voice sounds very pure and beautiful, but I'm not sure whether the song is spectacular. Tink liked it. Was she off for a minute at the key change? That was a key change, right?

Could I ask more questions tonight?

Okay, so feedback from the judges on everyone at once. I don't know what Randy said. Something like Castro, not so much; Cook, good; Brook, karaoke; Archuleta, the bomb, and Syesha, in the zone.

Now it's Paula's turn. She's giving Jason Castro feedback for two songs when he only sang one. This is crackin' me up, y'all. Ryan's lookin' off-stage like he wants someone to do something and Simon's just grinning into space. Randy tries to correct her and...WOW, is she HIGH!

Here we go with Round Two.

Jason Castro - September Morn
Sounds off in the beginning, but I love his voice on this song. Except when it's pitchy, which unfortunately it is. UGH. Never mind. It's awful. What do I know?

David Cook - All I Really Need is You
Not feelin' it. I guess this is his style, and it's pretty contemporary, but it's not for me. Okay, wait, cause the second half is sorta growin' on me.

But also, his hair is growin' out again, and did I mention in the beginning that I hated it? Yeah, hatin' it again.

Brooke White - I Am I Said
STUPENDOUS. This song is perfect for Brooke. Love it. I adore her voice when she's singing the right song. Seriously, may I gush? Because Brooke+the right song is such magic that it confuses me when she DOESN'T choose the wrong song.

David Archuleta - America
My first thought was that this song would be too big for him. So far, yeah, sounds like a high school choir performance to me, with a couple of great bright notes thrown in.

I think he always looks so zoned out when he's listening to the judges. And, by the way, the judges loved the performance. Of course.

Syesha Mercado - I Thank The Lord For The Night Time
I enjoyed it, but I bet the judges won't.
Randy? In the Zone.
Paula? Theatrical...huh? I love her.
Simon? Actress/Singer. May be in trouble tonight.

Conclusions? I loved Brooke's second performance, thought Syesha did well, and I definitely think Jason Castro needs to go this week. Jason's my Texas boy, y'all, but his time has passed.

What did you think?

Dancing With The Stars Results - April 29

LIVE from Hollywood, This Is Dancing With The Stars!

Here's the results show, y'all. Waddaya think?

Cristian is back, thank goodness.

blah blah blah

You can do lifts next week...

Kristi and Mark are safe for this week.

Love the Dance Center segment with the football guys and Len doing commentary on the contestants. Love. It.

Def Leppard on DWTS? I just don't know what to say.

More Dance Center and talk of flatulence.

And Mario and Karina are safe.

More Def Leppard? Yeah, fast forward.

Nothing against Def Leppard, mind you. It's just sorta creepy to mix my genres. And 80-90s rock mixed with ballroom? Not workin' for me.

Hey, no Junior Dancers tonight?

Tom Bergeron talking about how many times "the trajectory of this show has changed. The most recent time, minutes before the show began." I don't know what his point is.

Back to the elimination.

Or maybe a commercial instead. Bitches.

My sweet baby Cristian has a ruptured tendon and will have to have surgery, but wants to complete the competition first. If the votes allow.

AND THEY DO! Yeah, he's safe!

First couple in the bottom 2 is Marissa and Tony.

Next couple safe is Jason and Edyta. Obviously.

Which means Shannon and Derek are in the bottom 2. Oh no, I don't want either to leave.

But Shannon and Derek are gone. Very emotional. But not unexpected.

What did y'all think? Any surprises tonight?

Dancing With The Stars - April 28

LIVE, This Is Dancing With The Stars!!

I swear, these announcers are over the top, y'all. I especially love how they label every contestant as they introduce them.

NFL Man of the Year Jason Taylor!
Actor Christian Del Fuente!
R & B Star Mario!
Film and Television Star Shannon Elizabeth!
Tony-Winning Broadway Star Marissa Jaret Winokur!
Olympic Champion Figure Skater Kristi Yamaguchi!

Wow, we're down to six tonight and I really like all of them, although some more than others.

Marissa and Tony Dovolani - Tango and Rumba
The Tango's first, and bless her little short stature! I liked it, but then I've been a fan of Marissa's from the beginning. That lean-ish thing they did was great, and she was as graceful as she could be. I think it's just hard to be sultry when you're 4 foot nothing.

Oh, Len said it was Her Best Dance! And Bruno liked it too.

SCORE: 27

Last they have their Rumba, and it's a little slow, isn't it? There were some really difficult moves too, though, and I think the judges liked it. Have I mentioned that I think Tony Dovolani is the sweetest man I've seen on this show?

SCORE: 25
TOTAL: 52

Cristian and Cheryl Burke - Viennese Waltz and Samba
The Viennese Waltz is first. I love the color of her dress. And the song is distracting, cause it was a late-night pick-up number at a little bar I used to hang out at.

Oh, but the dance. Yeah, it was Cristian; of course I loved it!

SCORE: 25. Wah.

Oh, I'm so excited to see Cristian's Samba. But wait...I think I'm a bit disappointed because he's not shaking his bom bom as much as I'd like. Oh My, now he's hurt himself. Wah.

Back from commercial break, and my boy has got ice on his arm, and he's oh, so embarrassed.

SCORE: 21. How sad.
TOTAL: 46

Kristi and Mark Ballas - Viennese Waltz and Cha Cha
Viennese Waltz is first. They look absolutely gorgeous. Yeah, this is a 30 for sure. It's just breathtakingly beautiful.

WOW, Carrie Ann and Len didn't love it.

SCORE: 26. Is this the first week she's not been on top?

And what about their Cha Cha Cha? Go on now, Mark, with your spinning self! I'm tellin' y'all, sometimes with this couple I'm so busy watching him that I forget to look at Kristi.

Holy Smokes, people, I think I enjoyed that more than any dance Kristi's done all season.

And p.s., could Len and Bruno argue any more tonight?

SCORE: 28
TOTAL: 54

Mario and Karina Smirnoff - Fox Trot and Mambo
And the Fox Trot is first. I thought it was great, my Pooh loved it.

SCORE: 24

Dancing the Mambo now. Again with the Ricky Ricardo business. I swear that Mario is part Cuban or Puerto Rican or whatever. He moves so fine he makes those weird white pants look good.

SCORE:27
TOTAL:51

Shannon and Derek Hough - Tango and Mambo

First up is the Tango. LOVE her dress. I think the dance is a little robotic, but so is the music - maybe that's the way they intended it to be. Left me feeling a little weird.

Bruno said it was like a silent movie, and I agree. Carrie Ann said it was their best dance yet, and Len liked it too.

SCORE: 27

And onto their Mambo. Y'all, she's still not moving her dadgum hips. And she's gonna be surprised when the judges tell her so. Or maybe they'll just leave it alone this week. Plus and also, I like to have my music with a Latin flair when we're supposed to be doing a Mambo.

Hmm...Len and Bruno thought she really moved her tushy. I didn't see it.

SCORE: 24
TOTAL: 51

Jason and Edyta Sleazinska - Quick Step and Pasa Doble
Quick Step is up first tonight, and I can't wait to see it! i still remember how great Emmitt Smith did it a couple seasons ago.

I enjoyed the dance; I'm amazed at how naturally Jason seems to dance. And I couldn't believe how covered Edyta was. Compared to her other wardrobe choices, I mean.

SCORE: 29!

How about a Pasa Doble now? Crack me up with the NFL theme song and costumes. Well, it was different, I'll give 'em that. I just don't know what else to say.

SCORE: 26
TOTAL: 55

Okay, so the show is finally over. I think my favorite dance was Kristi and Mark's Cha Cha Cha. And honestly, I think that anyone but Jason and Kristi could be in danger.

Did you watch the show tonight? Who do you think will go home tomorrow night?

American Idol Final 6 Results

Just a quick post tonight, folks; storms are a rollin' through and I need to unplug the computer.

Here's all I have to say - What. The. Heck?

Brooke and Jason are safe?

And Carly and Syesha are in the bottom 2?

I am a big fan of Brooke and Jason, but they deserve to be in the Bottom 2 this week.

Alas.

Carly is leaving this week.

Big Daddy's ticked, Scooter's crying. Wah.

American Idol Top 6

It's Andrew Lloyd Weber Night, folks. This should be interesting!

Syesha Mercado - One Rock and Roll Too Many (I think it's called)
This time she's standing on the piano? ...and now she's sitting on it ...and now she's off. Okay, look - I think she put too much energy into the gimmick and not enough into knocking the song out of the park. But that's just me.

The Judges loved it. See? I told you it was just me.

Jason Castro - Memories
Before he starts singing, I'm gonna go ahead and say that I am very concerned about his song choice. Yeah, it goes from boring to awful in my opinion. And I'm a Jason fan, but I'm jumpin' this sinking ship. I just hope he can squeak through to next week.

I can't stand Ryan Seacrest.

Brooke White - I don't know what this song is.
Good night, she screwed up and started over. I guess it's a good thing it's a fairly unknown song (at least to me). That way maybe she can get away with some mistakes.

Hey, Brooke's singing with the most power I've seen her throw out there in this competition; maybe that'll save her. Cause y'all know I love me some Brooke!

And p.s., someone give her a Botox injection before each show so she won't keep on doing those weird things with her lips while she listens to the judges and Stoopid Ryan.

Little Archuletta - Some song from Phantom.
I got nothin'. Randy and Paula loved it, and Simon thought it was forgettable.

Carly Smithson - Jesus Christ Superstar.
I think this IS the best performance tonight. She's throwing that big old voice out there, but doesn't seem as overly intense as she has in the past. Until the last note.

David Cook - The Music of the Night
All right, here's the deal. GREAT showcase for his voice. But it's very Opera/Broadway/classical, don't you think? Not very contemporary at all.

AND my stupid DVR cuts off here.

So let's recap. My fave of the night was Carly.

Who do I think will go home? Probably either Jason or Brooke. And I will wait patiently for them to release an album that I will promptly buy.

Are we still supposed to say album? I don't know.

Anyway.

What did you think about tonight's show?

And if you're a Dancing With The Stars fan, be sure and tell me what you thought about tonight's results show here.

Dancing With The Stars - Week Six Results

Last night's show was really fun, y'all, and I won't be happy to see anyone go home this week.

The country group number is just so cute! And I still can't believe how well Marlee does without hearing the music. She's incredible.

Ashlee Simpson is performing tonight, and I could swear she didn't learn anything from her past lip synch mishaps. It's a cute song, though. She's just not singing it live, is all.

Hi, could Samantha Hostess' arms be any scrawnier?

First results - Shannon is safe and Marlee is not.

Riverdance - I think the dancing is incredible and takes a great deal of talent, but after awhile I'm yawning. Sorry.

I think these junior dancers are awesomely talented, and I'm glad that the judges only give them good feedback. Wow, the first little couple are great, especially the young man. Go Team Red!

Team Black/Aqua are dancing the Samba tonight. Little Man's footwork is incredible, an the shimmies are off the charts! Did he mean to fall in the end, though?

Two more couples who are safe - Marissa and Tony; Cristian and Cheryl. Yay, two of my favorites! At this point I predict that either Mario or Jason will be in the bottom 2.

Back from commercial break, and it's Mario in the bottom 2. I was afraid of that; I don't know if he really connects with the audience.

But it's Marlee going home this week. Wah.

See y'all next week for another thrilling episode of...Which Professional Female Can Wear Less Clothes? Stay tuned.

Dancing With The Stars - Week 6

It's Week 6 of Dancing With The Stars, y'all, and I have to warn you - I'm cranky. I just typed a great intro and lost it and I absolutely can't remember what I said.

I'll try to bring some sweetness and light to my review, but I can't promise anything.

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sleazinska - I love to watch this big hunk move! (I typed big hung first. tee hee.) Anyway, all I have to say is I loved it.

SCORE: 24

Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough - Do you think they might be hooking up?

They're doing the Rumba tonight, and I love that she's not dressed like a sleaze bag. WOW, look at those gams, y'all! I think she still needs to move her hips a bit more, though. Oh, and Bruno agrees with me.

Po' little Shannon, she gets really upset at the criticism. I think she must be a bit of a perfectionist.

SCORE: 24

Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez - WOW, has Marlee got a flat tummy! And she's friends with Henry Winkler! And she loves blue eyeshadow!

I think she messed up quite a bit in the beginning, but do you think it got better in the second half?

SCORE: 21
Wah.

Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke - Love me some Cristian. Love the face, love the sense of humor, love the accent! And look at his sweet little feet! And his pink shirt! And all my exclamation points!

Not crazy about the Bryl Cream hair, though. Just sayin'.

Smooth, baby, smooth! No, he did not just do high kicks. Homey Gomey!

Y'all, Len just said, "If you're in the bottom two tomorrow, I'll show my bum in the supermarket." I'm still giggling, after rewinding it 5 times.

SCORE: 27
We were hoping for a 30, but we'll take it.

Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony Dovolani are doing the Viennese Waltz. My fingers are crossed for her.

I hate the music. Hate. It. Liked it when Tom Jones sang it, don't like this heavy, almost Spanish arrangement.

The dance was pretty, and I think Marissa looked beautiful.

SCORE: 26!

Kristy Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas - Did you know she was born with club feet? WOW!

I gotta admit, I enjoyed Mark's dancing so much on this one that I kept forgetting to watch Kristy. Obviously she was good; what else do we expect?

SCORE: 30!

Mario and Karina Smirnoff - Yeah, it was steamy. And I'm gonna go there - what the heck was she wearing?

SCORE: 28

Next we have a group number - this should be interesting! I guess I'd already stopped watching last season when (and if) they did a group number.

Y'all, I enjoyed that SO Much! Every single one of them did an excellent job!

And now that the show is over, it's time for our predictions. My favorite this week was Cristian, and I guess that Marlee and Shannon are in danger of going home. Wah.

What did you think?

Dancing With The Stars - Latin Night

It's the halfway point of the competition, y'all, and tonight they're doing the Samba and the Rumba. I'm not certain that I can tell the difference; we'll see.

Mario and Karina - Samba
Wow, could her spray-on be any darker tonight? And can someone seriously tell me why the costumes have to be so revealing? I know I'm showing my prudishness, but I don't understand the reason for it. Unless it's to show what a rockin' 6-pack she has.

And the dancing? I really enjoyed it. Mario reminds me of Ricky Ricardo tonight, for some reason. Is the Samba a Cuban dance?

Score: 27!

Priscilla and Louis - Rumba
It cracks me up when they introduce her as "Actress and Businesswoman." It sounds kinda like, "Grammy Award Winner and Grocery Shopper!"

Priscilla's face looks prettier this week, although I'd like to see lighter eyes.

I thought the dance was VERY pretty, but it seemed so short! I wonder if the judges will think it was too simple.

SCORE: 21

Marissa and Tony - Samba (Oh, Tony says it's Brazilian.)
Marissa doesn't look nearly as chunky in her workout clothes as she does in her performance costumes. And have I mentioned that I L.O.V.E. Tony?

Girlfriend sure enough did shake her booty, didn't she? I loved it!

SCORE: 24

Christian and Cheryl - Rumba
Still hot. I love the color of his shirt and her dress, although I'd like to see more dress. Have I mentioned I may be prudish?

I could watch Christian walk up a flight of stairs and enjoy it, but it didn't seem like this dance was very complicated, AT ALL.

SCORE: 23

Marlee & Fabian - SambaI just can not get over her rhythm, when she can't hear - and has never heard - the music! Incredible.

The judges said that she stumbled a few times but let me tell you - I never saw it!

SCORE: 22

Kristy and Mark - Rumba
Her family is so cute in the taped piece!

Oh goodness, I love their lavender costumes, and the dance was pretty, but I'm not sure I saw sensual. The judges did, though.

SCORE: 29

Shannon & Derek - Samba
Derek went to the hospital with food poisoning? Goodness, this kid is falling apart, isn't he? It looks like the two of them are getting along Very Well in the taped piece, huh?

Not sure I'm crazy about their dance. She seems to be a little stiff. Len said there was no impact and not enough hip action. I Agree. I don't think the score will be very high this week.

SCORE: 23 - WOW, higher than I thought!

Jason and Edyta - Rumba
My, but the girl's hips can move...oh goodness, and the boy's can, too!! Edyta had some great moves, but did Jason? The judges think so - GOOD!

SCORE: 27

The dancing's over for tonight, and now comes the hard part - who's going home this week? Priscilla has the lowest score, but that doesn't always matter, does it?

My favorites were Jason, Marissa and Christian. Cause I'm a sucker for hot men and chunky chicks.

See ya tomorrow for the results!

Holy Smokes, y'all!

WOW, can you believe Michael Johns went home from American Idol tonight?

I don't think it's any secret that I wasn't a fan, but at times it seemed like everyone else I encountered online was!

And could he have looked more stunned?

I guess you can never be too sure, huh?

American Idol - The Final 8

It's Inspirational Week on American Idol. I'll be interested to see what each contestant finds inspirational.

Michael Johns is singing some song that I recognize but don't know the origin of. Big Daddy thinks it was originally recorded by a Big Hair Band like Poison, and I think it was Queen. And it sounded like karaoke to me.

Oh, Randy said it was Aerosmith.

Hey, Sinbad's in the audience.

And Paula's breastesses are trying to escape that torture device of a dress.

Syesha is singing I Believe, which was originally recorded by Fantasia. It was a good performance, y'all, but I don't know if she brings anything unique to the party. Until she hit that glass-shattering high note; now that was unique.

Jason Castro is singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow, and he says it's a version done by a Hawaiian guy on a ukulele. And oh my goodness, Jason is actually playing a ukulele.

Okay, I like Jason, I really do. I even like the song. But I'm not in agreement with his choice tonight. It sounds like a movie soundtrack; specifically Pixar or Disney.

Wow, see how crazy I am? The judges loved it and I'm glad! Go Jason!

Up next is Kristy Lee Cook, and we're betting she's gonna sing something by Martina McBride. Oh my goodness, SHE IS! Let's see how she does.

I hate the way they have to chop these songs up to meet the time requirements. I think she started out rough, but kind of brought it home on the choruses. Do they still call them choruses, or are they bridges or something else totally?

Anyway, that top she wore was HOT.

Randy liked it aside from some pitch problems, and Paula thought it was her best performance. Simon thought she was very, very good indeed and that she looks like a star tonight. Do y'all think Kristy's on the way back?

David Cook is not impressing me tonight. At all. I don't know what he's singing and I don't really care. Something about We Are All Innocent. Randy and Simon agreed with me, and Paula loves him no matter what he does.

Carly Smithson is singing a Queen song tonight. And she apparently didn't listen to Simon's advice last week regarding clothing choices.

Pity.

She sure is strutting around that stage like a bad ass, though. Go on now, Carly. I think parts of the song were really good, but overall it just should have been better. There were too many background singers in places, and I couldn't distinguish her voice.

Hey, Simon likes her clothes! But he thinks it was an angry performance, that she over-sang the song and might be in trouble for it.

Archuleta's up next and he's singing a song called Angels. It was good. The judges loved it but David didn't seem very happy about that. He looks drugged a bit.

And Brooke's closing the show with some Carole King tonight. I love me some Brooke and I love me some Carole King.

Have I mentioned that I'm oh, so partial to Brooke's voice? Didja know that?

BUT. I'm not crazy about this arrangement. This seems like a song that would be great with her at the piano, and a less formal arrangement.

Also, I'm finding myself dreading the looks she gives the judges and that thing she does with her mouth when they criticize her. We'll see.

Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?

Okay, so who was the best tonight?

I honestly don't know. I don't think there were any standouts tonight, either best or worst. So we'll have to see how it goes tomorrow night.

Could I be more ambivalent?

See ya here!