Dancing With The Stars - April 7

It's the Pasa Doble and the Viennese Waltz on DWTS tonight, folks. We're joined in our commentary tonight by Miss Tinkerbell.

Kristy Yamaguchi's up first, dancing the Pasa Doble with Mark. I hate the music. Hate. It. The dance doesn't seem all that good to me, either. The spins are pretty, but I wonder if it's more the dress than anything. They seemed to fumble their hands a few times, too. I don't mean to be down on Kristy. I actually loved her performances the first two weeks, but last week and this, I haven't been all that thrilled.

Score: 29. Overblown much?

Next, "actress and businesswoman" Priscilla Presley is dancing the Viennese Waltz this week. It was a pretty dance, and she looks much better with more natural lipstick. And that's all I have to say about that.

Carrie Ann, however, is going on about lifts again. Oh, and Len agrees.

Backstage Announcer Girl says the judges were harsh. What planet is she from that she thinks that's harsh? They were almost apologetic in their criticism!

Score: 22

Adam Carolla is wearing the most ridiculous eyeliner moustache, which I guess means he's doing the Pasa Doble. Oh goodness gracious, he's riding a unicycle!

Tink: THAT's not dancing.

I don't know; didn't do much for me. And he looks ridiculous; he's got an orange spray tan and he looks like Greg Brady.

Score: 19

Marlee and Fabian are performing the Viennese Waltz this week. They're so cute with each other in the taped piece. And the dance is beautiful. I actually think Fabian stumbled a bit, though. Oh, p.s., I don't like that big old clump of crap pinned up in her hair.

But I really did think the dance was beautiful.

Score: 24

It's a Pasa Doble for Mario and Karina, and I liked it. That's about it.

Tink: I can't listen to the judges argue any more.

Preach it, Tink!

Score: 24

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sleazinska are dancing the Viennese Waltz next. I think he fumbled his feet a few times, but I do love to watch this big old man dance!

Score: 29! Holy smokes, they tied Kristy Yamaguchi!

Christian and Cheryl are dancing the Pasa Doble, and this Latin dude had better get it right! Hello hunkalicious, thank you very much for the no shirt thing. Not feelin' the pleather dominatrix outfit Cheryl's wearing, though.

Enjoyed The Dance!

Tink: It's kind of like the girl's in charge of the boy every time that they dance!

You know what I noticed? When the dance was over, Cheryl walked off, over to the judges, without waiting for him. What's up with that, Cheryl?

Score: 26

Derek Hough was injured in a rehearsal last week, so I don't think they rehearsed together very much this week. He and Shannon Elizabeth are dancing the Viennese Waltz. It was very pretty.

That seems to be a common theme for me tonight - It was pretty.

Well, it was.

Score: 28

Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony are doing the Pasa Doble this week. I want so badly for her to do well, but Oh My Goodness, couldn't someone do a better job of dressing her?

I thought she did great tonight, but do you think maybe she keeps getting low scores from the judges because it's hard to look graceful when your legs are only 2 feet long?

Score: 24

I was bored tonight, y'all. I don't know who was the best, but my favorites are Tony, Christian and Marrissa. I'm rooting for Marrissa cause I think she's probably the underdog right now, with her little old legs.

Obviously, Adam Carrolla needs to go home this week. Besides being the worst dancer, he's also obnoxious.

Enough of my mediocre commentary; what did you think?