American Idol Season 8 - Week #1 Auditions

THIS is American Idol.

Can I tell y'all something? I was SO not into last season's American Idol. Maybe I'm getting too old; I don't know. I just know that everyone I liked left early and I lost interest.

So anyway.

This season we have a new judge, and I am SO over the drama about that.

Do I sound cranky? Dang, I don't mean to.

And on to Phoenix.

Poor little Randy the Rocker. He hasn't even sung yet and he's got my heart, the little crybaby. And his voice just wasn't there. Wah.

HEY, I thought there weren't gonna be as many horrible people this season. WHAT IS UP?

Did you see the guy with the star rhinestone earrings? I SWEAR, I had those same earrings in the late 80's.

Hello, Michael from Jasper, Texas. Like ya.

Bikini girl? HORRIBLE. And also rude.

I liked the blonde girl with gorgeous eyes.

And most important? I like the new judge. Cara. So far, anyway.

Yeah, that's all I got tonight, aside from stomach pain. Catch ya next time.