Dancing With The Stars - Week Six Results

Last night's show was really fun, y'all, and I won't be happy to see anyone go home this week.

The country group number is just so cute! And I still can't believe how well Marlee does without hearing the music. She's incredible.

Ashlee Simpson is performing tonight, and I could swear she didn't learn anything from her past lip synch mishaps. It's a cute song, though. She's just not singing it live, is all.

Hi, could Samantha Hostess' arms be any scrawnier?

First results - Shannon is safe and Marlee is not.

Riverdance - I think the dancing is incredible and takes a great deal of talent, but after awhile I'm yawning. Sorry.

I think these junior dancers are awesomely talented, and I'm glad that the judges only give them good feedback. Wow, the first little couple are great, especially the young man. Go Team Red!

Team Black/Aqua are dancing the Samba tonight. Little Man's footwork is incredible, an the shimmies are off the charts! Did he mean to fall in the end, though?

Two more couples who are safe - Marissa and Tony; Cristian and Cheryl. Yay, two of my favorites! At this point I predict that either Mario or Jason will be in the bottom 2.

Back from commercial break, and it's Mario in the bottom 2. I was afraid of that; I don't know if he really connects with the audience.

But it's Marlee going home this week. Wah.

See y'all next week for another thrilling episode of...Which Professional Female Can Wear Less Clothes? Stay tuned.

Dancing With The Stars - Week 6

It's Week 6 of Dancing With The Stars, y'all, and I have to warn you - I'm cranky. I just typed a great intro and lost it and I absolutely can't remember what I said.

I'll try to bring some sweetness and light to my review, but I can't promise anything.

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sleazinska - I love to watch this big hunk move! (I typed big hung first. tee hee.) Anyway, all I have to say is I loved it.

SCORE: 24

Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough - Do you think they might be hooking up?

They're doing the Rumba tonight, and I love that she's not dressed like a sleaze bag. WOW, look at those gams, y'all! I think she still needs to move her hips a bit more, though. Oh, and Bruno agrees with me.

Po' little Shannon, she gets really upset at the criticism. I think she must be a bit of a perfectionist.

SCORE: 24

Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez - WOW, has Marlee got a flat tummy! And she's friends with Henry Winkler! And she loves blue eyeshadow!

I think she messed up quite a bit in the beginning, but do you think it got better in the second half?

SCORE: 21
Wah.

Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke - Love me some Cristian. Love the face, love the sense of humor, love the accent! And look at his sweet little feet! And his pink shirt! And all my exclamation points!

Not crazy about the Bryl Cream hair, though. Just sayin'.

Smooth, baby, smooth! No, he did not just do high kicks. Homey Gomey!

Y'all, Len just said, "If you're in the bottom two tomorrow, I'll show my bum in the supermarket." I'm still giggling, after rewinding it 5 times.

SCORE: 27
We were hoping for a 30, but we'll take it.

Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony Dovolani are doing the Viennese Waltz. My fingers are crossed for her.

I hate the music. Hate. It. Liked it when Tom Jones sang it, don't like this heavy, almost Spanish arrangement.

The dance was pretty, and I think Marissa looked beautiful.

SCORE: 26!

Kristy Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas - Did you know she was born with club feet? WOW!

I gotta admit, I enjoyed Mark's dancing so much on this one that I kept forgetting to watch Kristy. Obviously she was good; what else do we expect?

SCORE: 30!

Mario and Karina Smirnoff - Yeah, it was steamy. And I'm gonna go there - what the heck was she wearing?

SCORE: 28

Next we have a group number - this should be interesting! I guess I'd already stopped watching last season when (and if) they did a group number.

Y'all, I enjoyed that SO Much! Every single one of them did an excellent job!

And now that the show is over, it's time for our predictions. My favorite this week was Cristian, and I guess that Marlee and Shannon are in danger of going home. Wah.

What did you think?

Dancing With The Stars - Latin Night

It's the halfway point of the competition, y'all, and tonight they're doing the Samba and the Rumba. I'm not certain that I can tell the difference; we'll see.

Mario and Karina - Samba
Wow, could her spray-on be any darker tonight? And can someone seriously tell me why the costumes have to be so revealing? I know I'm showing my prudishness, but I don't understand the reason for it. Unless it's to show what a rockin' 6-pack she has.

And the dancing? I really enjoyed it. Mario reminds me of Ricky Ricardo tonight, for some reason. Is the Samba a Cuban dance?

Score: 27!

Priscilla and Louis - Rumba
It cracks me up when they introduce her as "Actress and Businesswoman." It sounds kinda like, "Grammy Award Winner and Grocery Shopper!"

Priscilla's face looks prettier this week, although I'd like to see lighter eyes.

I thought the dance was VERY pretty, but it seemed so short! I wonder if the judges will think it was too simple.

SCORE: 21

Marissa and Tony - Samba (Oh, Tony says it's Brazilian.)
Marissa doesn't look nearly as chunky in her workout clothes as she does in her performance costumes. And have I mentioned that I L.O.V.E. Tony?

Girlfriend sure enough did shake her booty, didn't she? I loved it!

SCORE: 24

Christian and Cheryl - Rumba
Still hot. I love the color of his shirt and her dress, although I'd like to see more dress. Have I mentioned I may be prudish?

I could watch Christian walk up a flight of stairs and enjoy it, but it didn't seem like this dance was very complicated, AT ALL.

SCORE: 23

Marlee & Fabian - SambaI just can not get over her rhythm, when she can't hear - and has never heard - the music! Incredible.

The judges said that she stumbled a few times but let me tell you - I never saw it!

SCORE: 22

Kristy and Mark - Rumba
Her family is so cute in the taped piece!

Oh goodness, I love their lavender costumes, and the dance was pretty, but I'm not sure I saw sensual. The judges did, though.

SCORE: 29

Shannon & Derek - Samba
Derek went to the hospital with food poisoning? Goodness, this kid is falling apart, isn't he? It looks like the two of them are getting along Very Well in the taped piece, huh?

Not sure I'm crazy about their dance. She seems to be a little stiff. Len said there was no impact and not enough hip action. I Agree. I don't think the score will be very high this week.

SCORE: 23 - WOW, higher than I thought!

Jason and Edyta - Rumba
My, but the girl's hips can move...oh goodness, and the boy's can, too!! Edyta had some great moves, but did Jason? The judges think so - GOOD!

SCORE: 27

The dancing's over for tonight, and now comes the hard part - who's going home this week? Priscilla has the lowest score, but that doesn't always matter, does it?

My favorites were Jason, Marissa and Christian. Cause I'm a sucker for hot men and chunky chicks.

See ya tomorrow for the results!

Dancing With The Stars - Who went home?

Adam Carrolla, that's who! And it was time, don't you think?

I don't have much else to say about tonight's show, because I was itching to get into American Idol.

Later, y'all. I've got me some TV to watch.

Dancing With The Stars - April 7

It's the Pasa Doble and the Viennese Waltz on DWTS tonight, folks. We're joined in our commentary tonight by Miss Tinkerbell.

Kristy Yamaguchi's up first, dancing the Pasa Doble with Mark. I hate the music. Hate. It. The dance doesn't seem all that good to me, either. The spins are pretty, but I wonder if it's more the dress than anything. They seemed to fumble their hands a few times, too. I don't mean to be down on Kristy. I actually loved her performances the first two weeks, but last week and this, I haven't been all that thrilled.

Score: 29. Overblown much?

Next, "actress and businesswoman" Priscilla Presley is dancing the Viennese Waltz this week. It was a pretty dance, and she looks much better with more natural lipstick. And that's all I have to say about that.

Carrie Ann, however, is going on about lifts again. Oh, and Len agrees.

Backstage Announcer Girl says the judges were harsh. What planet is she from that she thinks that's harsh? They were almost apologetic in their criticism!

Score: 22

Adam Carolla is wearing the most ridiculous eyeliner moustache, which I guess means he's doing the Pasa Doble. Oh goodness gracious, he's riding a unicycle!

Tink: THAT's not dancing.

I don't know; didn't do much for me. And he looks ridiculous; he's got an orange spray tan and he looks like Greg Brady.

Score: 19

Marlee and Fabian are performing the Viennese Waltz this week. They're so cute with each other in the taped piece. And the dance is beautiful. I actually think Fabian stumbled a bit, though. Oh, p.s., I don't like that big old clump of crap pinned up in her hair.

But I really did think the dance was beautiful.

Score: 24

It's a Pasa Doble for Mario and Karina, and I liked it. That's about it.

Tink: I can't listen to the judges argue any more.

Preach it, Tink!

Score: 24

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sleazinska are dancing the Viennese Waltz next. I think he fumbled his feet a few times, but I do love to watch this big old man dance!

Score: 29! Holy smokes, they tied Kristy Yamaguchi!

Christian and Cheryl are dancing the Pasa Doble, and this Latin dude had better get it right! Hello hunkalicious, thank you very much for the no shirt thing. Not feelin' the pleather dominatrix outfit Cheryl's wearing, though.

Enjoyed The Dance!

Tink: It's kind of like the girl's in charge of the boy every time that they dance!

You know what I noticed? When the dance was over, Cheryl walked off, over to the judges, without waiting for him. What's up with that, Cheryl?

Score: 26

Derek Hough was injured in a rehearsal last week, so I don't think they rehearsed together very much this week. He and Shannon Elizabeth are dancing the Viennese Waltz. It was very pretty.

That seems to be a common theme for me tonight - It was pretty.

Well, it was.

Score: 28

Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony are doing the Pasa Doble this week. I want so badly for her to do well, but Oh My Goodness, couldn't someone do a better job of dressing her?

I thought she did great tonight, but do you think maybe she keeps getting low scores from the judges because it's hard to look graceful when your legs are only 2 feet long?

Score: 24

I was bored tonight, y'all. I don't know who was the best, but my favorites are Tony, Christian and Marrissa. I'm rooting for Marrissa cause I think she's probably the underdog right now, with her little old legs.

Obviously, Adam Carrolla needs to go home this week. Besides being the worst dancer, he's also obnoxious.

Enough of my mediocre commentary; what did you think?

Dancing With The Stars - March 31

It's that time again, folks - time to watch those Stars Dance!

Up first tonight are Marlee and Fabian, dancing the Jive. She looks oh, so cute tonight!

As an aside: Here's a good example of why I don't like the house band. I rarely like hearing a song from anyone other than the original artist, unless I'm sitting in a bar.

I think the dance was good but not as good as in the past. The judges were a little bit more critical than they've been before, too.

Score: 21

Up next Steve and Anna, doing the Tango. Steve was hilarious rehearsing with Anna's husband in the taped piece!

I love Steve Guttenberg, but unfortunately, I don't think he's very long for this competition. I thought he was still walking through it, and what was his chin doing all jutted out like that? The judges thought he was much improved. YAY!

Score: 21! What a pleasant surprise!

Film and TV Star Christian (with Cheryl) is doing the Jive tonight. Usually I don't really care how he dances because he's just so dang HOTT, but tonight I'm really enjoying the dance, too! GREAT!

Score: 25!

Mario and Karina danced the Tango. Holy moley, is the band performing Roxanne to a tango beat? UGH. I didn't really pay attention to the dance; I was distracted by Karina's boots and the weird song.

Len didn't like it, Carrie Ann agrees, and Bruno doesn't think it was that bad.

Score: 21

Film and Television Star Shannon (and Derek) are performing the Jive this week. Big Daddy's unable to do anything more than stare at her legs. I on the other hand, love her dress, eyes, lipstick and headband thingie. Not all that crazy about the dance, though. Sorry. I'm glad the judges disagreed with me, though, cause I really like Shannon.

Score: 24

Next are Adam and Julianne and WOW, get a load of her wig and makeup! She looks great, doesn't she? Kind of like a young Priscilla Presley! Hey, his jaw is all wamper-jawed like Steve's was! I guess it's a Tango thing. Overall, I think he did a good job. And my lands, Carrie Ann thought he looked sexy!

Must! Stop! With! The Exclamation Points!

Score: 21

Marisa and Tony are doing the Jive tonight, and I think Tony ROCKS! I thought the dance was good, but like Len said, it was careful. You can tell that Marisa's disappointed at the judges' feedback. Do you think they might be holding her to a higher standard because of her Broadway background?

Or maybe I'm just biased in her favor cause she's a chunky girl.

Score: OOH, it's a 19. I think that's a bit harsh.

Priscilla and Louie are performing a steamy Tango next. I'll tell ya this; other than the steam, I don't think it's any better than Marisa's Jive. But the judges, they LOVE the older women on this show (remember Jane and Marie!), and they loved this one too. I'm not saying it wasn't good, but it wasn't THAT much better than Marisa.

Score: A ridiculous 26. I don't agree; do you?

Jason and Edyta attack the Jive this week. Man, this guy has a natural move to him that works with almost any dance he does. I don't know whether he's got the steps right or the technical aspects, but I know he's fun to watch.

Score: 23

Last this week are Kristi and Mark dancing the Tango. Got a little bit of makeup on there, Kristi? I don't think the performance is as good as past performances, but it was nice.

Score: 27 (I think that's overblown)

So, who's going home this week? I don't really think anyone sucked tonight. Low score was Marisa, and I definitely don't think she was the worst. Since someone's got to go, I guess I'm thinking Adam.

What do you think?

The Mask

Here's an interesting article about Priscilla Presley's face.

What I don't get is - your plastic surgery is botched, right? And you have plenty of money, right? If that's me, I'm going straight to Dr. 90210 and getting that mess fixed!

What do you think?

Dancing With The Stars Results Show

Dear ABC:

Scheduling a Recap Show, to give me "one more chance to see the Stars' first two dances," does not get me to tune in to ABC for an extra hour. It does, however, screw up my DVR so that I only see the last 20 minutes of the results show. And the Recap? I deleted it after the first 48 seconds.

Now on to the results that I DID see.

Oh. So Penn and Monica are gone, and I agree completely. They both tried hard and were enthusiastic, but were definitely the worst.

See ya next week, folks!

Dancing With The Stars - March 24

Hey, Guys! Here we are with the beginning of another great week of reality programming. Let's start it off with Dancing With The Stars and cruise on into American Idol tomorrow night.

And off we go...

Steve Guttenberg - I'll start by saying that I really like Steve. A lot. But bless his heart, as much as he wants to do this and do it good, the judges don't like his performance. Me? I thought he danced well, but the choreography seemed VERY easy.

Score: I don't know, I was multi-tasking.

Christian de la Something - Ha cha cha cha cha. He's still a hot tamale, but his performance wasn't that great.

Score: Still multi-tasking.

Monica Selles - I have some mixed feelings about this performance. Part of the time there's so much more personality, and others she still seems to be walking through it. Wow, Bruno sort of says the same thing; on again, off again.

Score: 15

Penn Gillette - I thought he did much better than last week. Seems like sometimes his steps look awkward just because he's trying to stay in sync with her and he's so tall. My main gripe with Penn is that when the judges are giving their feedback, he's talking back the whole time. I hate that.

Score: 17 Shut up, Penn.

Priscilla Presley - I'm not going to say anything about her plastic surgery this week. I might, however, mention that I wish she wouldn't wear such dark eye makeup. I read somewhere that's the way Elvis liked it, but I think it's time she moved on to something more flattering. And speaking of flattering, the dress is not.

I wasn't all that impressed with the performance, either. The judges liked it, though. Shades of Jane Seymour and Marie Osmond?

Score: 21

Shannon Elizabeth - She looks so pretty tonight, and even though I wasn't crazy about the silver dress to begin with, once she started moving it was gorgeous! I'm kind of like Paula on American Idol tonight, "First of all, you look gorgeous!"

I loved the performance, and Len said it's the best dance so far tonight!

Score: 24

Jason Taylor - You know, he's almost as big as Penn, isn't he, but he doesn't have a problem looking good. Did I say good? I mean GREAT! The judges think so, too.

Score: 27

Marissa Jaret Winokur - I loved Tony in the taped piece - so encouraging when she was feeling discouraged. And I loved their performance! The judges all thought they were much improved over last week.

Score: 21

Adam Carrolla looks great in his taped piece - I hope he does that good live! Hmm...not so much. He seems a lot stiffer than he did in rehearsal. Maybe they should let him perform in sweats.

Hey, did y'all know the Jonas Brothers are performing on tomorrow night's results show? Who could miss the 147 mentions of said performance? Enough already.

Score: 19

Marlee Matlin - I'm speechless. She can't hear the music, y'all. And she was only looking at her partner some of the time. Yet she was on beat almost the entire time. And beautiful, by the way.
Score: 24!

Kristi Yamaguchi - Well. Didn't like the dress, DID like the dance. Was it a mambo, though? Judges loved it!

Score: 27

Mario - I thought it was good, but it sure did seem short to me.

Score: 26

My favorites tonight? Well, I need to tell you that I usually root for the underdogs, so my favorites were the obvious, Kristi and Marlee, and then I'm also rooting for Marissa and Steve.

Who should go home? Probably Monica and Penn, or maybe Carrolla.

What do you think?

Dancing With The Stars - Ladies' Night

It's time for the ladies tonight, y'all, and I can't wait to see what they bring!

Let me say before we start, though, that I think that my commentary, reviews, whatever you wanna call 'em, will probably be changing a little bit. Listen, I'm not a dance professional or voice critic. I'm just a Texan Mom who knows what she likes. I think I may have been trying too hard on both my American Idol and DWTS posts to sound like I know what I'm talking about - and I don't.

I'm glad we got that out of the way.

Now, on with the show.

First up is Shannon Elizabeth. I knew I'd seen her on a couple of celebrity poker shows, but I didn't know she played competitively! As far as dancing, I don't see much energy in it. It's like she's walking through the thing. Doesn't help me much that I've never heard this song and it doesn't seem like Cha Cha music to me.

The judges disagree with me, and the score is 21.

Oh my goodness, y'all. We're watching this show live and it's killing me to have to sit through the commercials. We almost never watch anything live; it's all DVR, all the time over here these days.

Okay, now we're on to Monica Seles. Bless her heart, she seems so very awkward in the taped intro. But her pink dress is very pretty, and she seems a bit smoother in the live performance. Okay, so there are a couple awkward spots, but still...this is so contrary to anything she's ever done, and I'm impressed with her courage.

Score? 15. Wow, that's worse than I thought it would be.

You know what? I know it's after 8:00, but it ticks me off that I've got my kids in here watching a dance show, and on one commercial break I have to hear someone say "Can I touch your boob?" and see a promo for a news show on prostitution. Nice.

Marissa Jaret Winokur is dancing with Tony Dovolani. Wowza! I really like this girl - she's got so energy and confidence for a short, not so thin girl. Love her. Aw, look at her move those little stubby legs! And excuse me, but Dovolani? Holey Moley, can this guy move. I've got to tell the truth - I'm having trouble keeping my eyes on Marissa. I did love the performance, though.

Can't understand a word that Bruno says, but I think Len likes her. Their score is 18.

Y'all, I am not trying to be tacky when I say...however old or raggedy that Priscilla Presley thought she looked before she had plastic surgery, it couldn't be as bad as she looks now. Her face is just so artificial and weird looking to me, and she doesn't show much emotion at all. I wonder if she's even able to smile? Oh, there was a laugh! What a relief. I'm very interested to see how she dances.

Here we go. Their dance is okay, but you really can't see her legs most of the time, so who knows? The death spin, or whatever it's called, was good.

Hey Lisa Marie, in the audience! Now there's beautiful. Bruno thinks Priscilla has star quality. Their score? 24. Wow. They shut me up.

Let's move on.

I think Kristi Yamaguchi might have an advantage, at least when it comes to choreography and learning steps. We'll see. First of all, she's gorgeous and I love the color of her dress and the gloves. It's a beautiful dance, is all I know. They are in such unison. I Love It.

The judges agree with me and the score is 27!

Here comes Marlee Matlin, and I am so excited for her! No, she did not just grab his butt inn the taped piece! She's cracking me up already, and I really like Fabian Sanchez so far.

And I absolutely loved their performance! And the judges give them a 22.

Technically I'm liking Kristi and emotionally I like Marissa and Marlee. I guess no one's going home this week, so we'll see you again next week for the first elimination.

Who did you like tonight? Leave me a comment and let me know!

Dancing With The Stars - The New Season!

It's time for another season of Dancing With The Stars, y'all, and this time I'm gonna try to stick it out through the entire season. Last time I sort of lost interest but hopefully that won't be the case this time.

Penn Gillette's up first with Kim somebody and the first thing I've gotta say is that he's better looking than I realized. I'm not saying he's hot, but I guess I always saw him as a big ol' geek, and in his rehearsal clothes he looks like a real fun guy.

On to the dancing. Y'all, I don't know if it's possible for a guy that big to be good technically, but he just looks so fun out there! I am lovin' it. I would love to see him in some more flattering clothes, though. The judges think he's entertaining but needs to work on his footwork.

Also Penn? Please stop with the wisecracks or I'll take back all the nice things I said about ya. Thanks.

Score? Oh my goodness, just a 16.

Jason Taylor and Edita doing the Fox Trot. Aw, he's good! His feet may not be light enough, but y'all, I really love to watch the men on this show, since ballroom dance is probably the last thing they ever thought they'd be doing!

Len think he did a great job, but maybe needs to put more acting into it. Carrie Ann thinks his hands were great, and Bruno thinks he was graceful but needs more heat.

The judges' scores: 22!

Christian de la Fuente is a big old Hot Tamale. He's dancing with Cheryl Burke, who's won DWTS championships, and they're doing the Cha Cha Cha.

DISCLAIMER: I believe my judgement may be clouded, which is the reason why I have no idea what the judges said. Look! At his pretty smile!

But the score? Oh, it's a 21!

Now we're on to Adam Corolla and Julianne Hough doing the Fox Trot. Wow, Adam has aged a bit, hasn't he? Oh my, and Julianne is only 19? How old was she the first time she won, for goodness sakes? Oh, I love this dance. Adam's good, people!

The judges think he's got good footwork, but lots of work to do.

The score? 15. Now friends, that's just sad, because I think he was definitely better than Penn!

R & B Star Mario and Karina Smirnoff. Let me just say I never heard of this kid but hopefully he can dance. I love this pale aqua color they're wearing! He's moving his hips good, I think, and his feet look good too, to this unsophisticated Texas girl.

The judges mostly agreed with me, and the score? WOW...a 24!

I like Steve Guttenberg, y'all, and I hope he's a good dancer. Hmmm...not so much. I even saw him counting one time. He's cute, though.

Let's find out what the judges have to say. Bruno wants to see more drive, Carrie Ann thinks he's adorable, and Len thinks he looks like he's enjoying himself, but needs to work on technique. Yay, I'm glad they didn't tear him up!

Steve and Anna's Score: 18.

That's it for tonight, folks; the girls are tomorrow night and I think they're gonna be the ones to beat!

Top guy for me tonight was Christian, and not just because he made me drool. I think Penn may be on the bottom of my list, although I really liked ALL the guys. Who's your favorite and who do you think will leave?

Dancing With The Stars New Season

Dancing With The Stars will return March 17 on ABC. Here are this season's celebs:

Adam Carolla
Cristian De La Fuente
Shannon Elizabeth
Steve Guttenberg
Penn Jillette

Mario

Marlee Matlin
Priscilla Presley
Monica Seles
Jason Taylor
Marissa Jaret Winokur
Kristi Yamaguchi

I'll try to watch again this season, but I've gotta tell ya - the music is a big barrier for me. The house band is just so corny that I have a hard time staying tuned for the whole show.

BUT. I think Kristi Yamaguchi and Marissa Jaret Winokur may have an advantage, being an ice skater and a broadway performer. We'll see.

Is Penn Jillette the quiet one or the big one? Either way, it should be interesting.

I think Priscilla Presley was a ravishing beauty until she started having plastic surgery. The last few times I've seen her it's like she was wearing one of those clear plastic bank robber masks. Sad.

Come back on March 18 and we'll talk about the premiere.

Dance Wars Finale

Hey, guys! Don't forget to check out the Season Finale of Dance Wars tonight on ABC. I hear that Drew Lachey's a special guest on the Finale.

You can find more info on Dance War here:

Dance War on ABC: http://abc.go.com/primetime/dancewar/

Dance War Fan Club: http://www.dancewarfanclub.com/

Dance War on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dance-War/20556810334

Dance War on MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/carrieannvsbruno

Did you miss me?

Y'all. I haven't posted in humpteen days. Yeah, sorry about that. I really need a laptop so I can write these posts while I'm watching TV. Cause my memory sucks and afterwards, I can't remember what I wanted to say.

But here's a VERY RANDOM run-down of my thoughts on this season's TV so far. In no particular order, because order is overrated.

THE BIGGEST LOSER - There have never been so many man boobs in one place in the history of the world. Not even on previous seasons of TBL. I am so sad for those guys that they have to take off their shirts every week. Even sadder than I am about the girls wearing those small sports bras.

KID NATION - Like it, watch it with my girls. Can't stand Taylor. That's about it.

SURVIVOR - SO glad that Dave left last week. Sherea needs to go next.

BEAUTY AND THE GEEK - I'm so glad Will and Rebecca left last week. I think the only other person I really dislike is the tall athletic girl who's not really beautiful. She looks like she smells something stinky, and she's always mean to her little bitty partner, whose hair was dyed red this week. Know who I mean? Yeah, I don't like her.

HOUSE - Welcome back, dude. I wish he wouldn't re-hire Cameron. Can't stand her.

HEROES - I'm two weeks behind on watching this one. ACK!

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS - Holey Moley, y'all have got to watch this show. I love it oh, so much.

DANCING WITH THE STARS - I'm bored, but still watching. I HATE the fact that there is a house band. Why can't they have A-list music instead of studio musicians? Also, Carrie Ann Inaba, get over the "no lifts" deal, or disqualify 'em. Stop arguing about it.

I'M ALSO WATCHING:

Extreme Makeover Home Edition
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team (and I'm not ashamed to admit it!)
The Big Bang Theory - LOVE THIS SHOW!

See why I haven't had time to post? I'm too busy watching TV. I told y'all, I need a laptop.

Dancing With The Stars

Okay, guys, here we go with another series of witty and brilliant commentary by none other than the Queen of Dirty Laundry with occasional guest appearances by Big Daddy, Tinkerbell, Pooh and Scooter Pie. Prepare yourselves for the mediocrity.

Wow, Drew Lachey is short. Cute, but short. He's just like a tiny version of Nick, isn't he?

Oh no, they don’t have real music? I mean, it always seems weird to me to hear the house band version of a song, rather than the popular recorded version. Sort of like elevator music. Oh well...

Here we go with the ladies!

Jennie Garth & Derek Hough - She did a good split! Other than that, I liked it; not much more to say.
TOTAL SCORE: 21

Josie Marin & Alec Mazo – She seems very full of herself. Who says, “I’m a Super Model?” Seriously? The dance was okay...Ooh, the judges didn’t like it though, did they?
TOTAL SCORE: 16

Sabrina Bryan & Mark Ballas, Jr. – I’m not sure if it’s “textbook” as Sabrina said, but I like it. Let’s see what the judges have to say. WOW – The judges loved it. (It should also be noted that this couple is the early favorite of our guest judge, Tinkerbell of Dirty Laundry.)
TOTAL SCORE: 26

Marie Osmond & Jonathan – Folks, I love me some Osmonds, but I’m gonna have to diss Marie a little here. Even though she’s older and maybe a tiny bit thick, she doesn’t have to look MATRONLY, for goodness sakes. That dress is like a Miss America dress from the 1980’s, people! She looks much cuter in the rehearsal clips and interviews than she does in her costume. Aw, but she’s dancing good, y’all. She just needs a wardrobe person or stylist who will dress her to suit her fuller figure. Oh, and the judges liked her. Good.
TOTAL SCORE: 21

Mel B & Maksin Hmerkovskiy (or whatever his name is)- He’s awfully cute now, isn’t he? I didn’t want to like her, but I think they’re VERY good. Right?! Judges?
TOTAL SCORE: 24
PLUS, they get a vote from Tink!

Jane Seymour & Tony Dovolani – I heart Jane Seymour! Love. Her. Didn't you just love her in Somewhere in Time? I watched that movie over and over and over again. Gives me chills just thinking about it. Oh...they’re dancing. Ooh, and this song makes me think of Kim Basinger in that blockbuster, The Marrying Man. Who knew she could sing like that? Oh yeah, the dancing. It’s lovely. Very sweet. Beautiful dress. Aw, Tony hearts Jane!
TOTAL SCORE: 24


This is gonna be a long week, isn't it? When will I have time to watch all my other premieres if I'm watching DWTS every night?

Okay, friends. Leave me a comment and tell me who your favorites (and not-so-favorites) are.

Dancing With The Stars Announces New Contestants

Dancing With The Stars returns September 24 on ABC. We haven't watched the prior seasons, but I think we'll be on board with this one.

Wanna know who this season's stars are? Check it out here.